JAKE

Sometimes life just makes you feel dead inside. Days run into days, into weeks, months and finally years. Four years ago my heart broke. I had loved Bella with everything I could muster together back then, but it hadn't been enough. I wasn't good enough for her. I wasn't the right kind of monster.

First I tired to give up my humanity, turning wolf and running and planning on never coming back. Like most things in life that didn't work for me. So instead I threw myself into my "job". Tried to take my role as Beta seriously keep my siblings in line, be responsible. That was boring and Sam pissed me off.

Now I just drift. Embry, Quil and I cause a lot of trouble in town. Charlie gets pissed off at me at least once a week. I fight, as soon as I turned twenty one I started to drink. My father is furious with me, and Sam drags me on runs with him as much as he can trying to straighten me out but I don't care.

I just want to feel again. I want to remember what it felt like when I could see my future so clearly and was willing to give everything to fight for it. I know what doesn't kill you makes you strong, but fuck at this point I should be Superman. I just want to be happy, is that too much to ask?